fuckkkkk.

so right now im sitting in my room crying i just got home from school and i should be used to this by now ive been doing this every single day sincee september 7 when we broke up and its like its never been fully over between us like we still connected by fighting about stupid shit and blaming eachother for everything that went wrong and i feel like we both know it wasnt me. I was there for you as much as humanly possible and you took me for granted and fucked me over all the time because  you knew i would take you back and thats not right and like i took the abuse you called me horrible names you fucked with my head you took my virginity and still to this day throw it in my face and it kills because your like a part of me because of it. you controlled everything in my life and i let you so you wouldnt get mad and do things that would get you in trouble i just let you do me wrong over and over and my friends couldnt do anything but just sit there and watch it and my family knowing that im getting myself hurt. Hunter was my bestfriend and hes gay dude like come on and you made me stop talking to him and i hurt him really badly because of it and he moved on with his own life and he was always there when you wernt there and hes an amazing fucking friend he needs to mind his buisness sometimes but still. I feel like im being blamed for how you are when youve been like this ive just been enabling it ive been there to keep you calm so you took it out all on me and now that its all over with you still treat me like shit and make me feel like its my fucking fault. you make me feel like our relationship fell apart becayse of me and that kills me thats not fair to put that on me. im so depressed and i dont know what to do anymore it hurts like no it doesnt even hurt anymore i just cry and let it all out every single night. i just want it all to fucking stop i wanna just stop feeling things all together.